Diary of a Dreamer

by Kotic Couture

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1.
Home (Intro) 01:16
2.
"As I Dream" When you eliminate frustration You're captivated with greatness Mixing hard work and hustle Then you chase it with patience Know your destiny is waiting It worth the struggle to make it If it don't make cents don't hate it These riches can be created Swear to skies above I'd never sell my soul And If it came to that I'd have to book a session And leave my heart in the studio Who really knows What the end result will be As I continue to beat these Rappers like the police I'm in a running my own conscience Ear to conches To hear the sea Got the guidance Of a goddess to deliver me Battling demons that won't never leave They try to defeat They say to make it Gotta fake it Can't be me Refuse to sell out for a single Put that on the record They swear my life is a movie Won't make what was projected Something about realness Only a few recognize Give me them coins I need them millions to shine Can't see a star will blind eyes Only fail if you don't try If they knock you down Set your pace Even if you're last Finish the race This is the perfect equation Of adding your failures To equal to greatness I'm silencing every voice Lent to you Telling you That in the end You wouldn't make it Before conception Into adolescent these things was manifested To inspire belief of being less than Torn from royalty now retaking my thrown Give me all that I own I swear these nights be so cold I seen the bottom now I'm on the rise Seen the dream I see with closed eyes No appetite for what they tryna feed me Believe me We gon make it out Or we gon die trying On these dreams, we relying Odds defying Remaining Defiant Ugh All I ever had Was a pad and pen It kept me out the padded room Away from that penitentiary Silly of me to see in me What no one see Possibly hypocrisy All i had was my faith in me No college degree Assumptions of what i'd graduate to be As they continue to sleep follow my dreams Everything ain't as it seems All that glitters don't gleam a one soldier army Tryna break the regime This is a new era of terror Refuse to be scared of Any man-made emotion Configured devoted to holding you Comfortable with conforming Jumping out of the normal Middle finger to formal We just creating turmoil We still at the bottom We got our eyes on the top Only way they can hold me Is if my heart stop I do care if they never believe Bet they gon see What happens when you following your dreams Young Dreamer (Chorus) And you'll see All Of Me Who I'm trying to be Whats inside of me As I Dream (x2) Who I'm trying to be Whats inside of me As I Dream (x2) Who I'm trying to be Whats inside of me As I Dream (x2) Who I'm trying to be Whats inside of me As I Dream You can't surpass what is classic Put me in the mix I already got it mastered And I got em totaled like a bad car crash I'm the power in the engine and I Got em bagged like the air in the dash I see my visions In HD I make them reality Too in tune with the power that be To not succeed The stars aligned And we shine It's go time Powers in the mind guaranteed you'll see mine (Chorus) And you'll see All Of Me Who I'm trying to be Whats inside of me As I Dream (x2) Who I'm trying to be Whats inside of me As I Dream (x2) Who I'm trying to be Whats inside of me As I Dream (x2) Who I'm trying to be Whats inside of me As I Dream
3.
I wanna take some fireflies Brighten up the darkness within me I wonder if Delilah Still, live in New York City Do they Still tease For wearing Plain white tees To your knees Like you was Bout to crank S.B's Would you love me If my attitude Wasn’t the same If I ain’t in position Where you thought I had a name Will things change If I succumb To the fame Or will the high of the moment be to blame. Did you Go and Try to get higher The night You got your wings Did you Ever express What you battled within I know this mind Can be a war zone Never wanted you Permanently to be alone I wish I could make Demons Evaporate gone And I could give you more Something more Than a fuckin song If I could Take your darkness would tried my hardest But something Got a grip It pulls your back Like a harness. Refuse to let Them tarnish Your perfect image Cause we all got our downfalls And if they speak in vain You know I run my mouth off Never really know What going down internally The more that you drift I pray that you return to me Was it me? Was it something I did? What did Mom and dad Never give you as a kid I swear I would give my all Just to have it the old way I'd give back this shine If that meant You’d be old B But the love Feel realer crawling Thru your veins Cause the love I have Can’t numb no pain I used to look to you When they throw the book at you The glass between us Attempted to change My view of you. How we get here? Where the road fork at? When did the needle Become more important than me man? Nights I couldnt sleep When my phone ring late night I would fear A bad dose Took ya life Now I know You’re not under your control I just rewind And let the good times roll At times I feel like Like I never really knew you How I ain’t see All the pain That you grew thru I was busy Tryna make my name I was busy Tryna chase some fame Dedication of my teens To the game In and out the club So they know who I am Now I rebel Against all I thought I wanted 90 percent of my life Nobody kept it 100 had to build my own way Do my own thing Now they wanna latch Cause they see what the grind bring Fuck some IG numbers That equates to nothing Ain’t no double taps When you alone and haunted Don’t no followers Really follow you To your destruction they gon watch The entertainment And say nothing All I wanted is Becoming a reality When I lost you I lost all the doubt in me You never Let me See myself For nothing Less than great Change the name From dream To goals Go ahead and chase And know This life issues No receipts You can’t return Anything you see But you gain Everything That you seek You’re powerful when You feel weak Grind Pray Go Work Hard Believe. I possess all I need. Grind Pray Work Hard Believe. I possess all I need When the skies part And I’m called home No longer in the physical It’s just my soul I’ll face the throne With the true belief that I lived as I was Created to be When the skies part And I’m called home No longer in the physical It’s just my soul I’ll face the throne With the true belief that I lived as I was Created to be I am (x3)
4.
Missed Calls 02:16
Hearsay It’s a lot of Hearsay Yeah, I hear what they say But I don’t fear no mayne (man) Been running so long Feel like a presidential campaign Refuse to hustle hard And never see a damn thing Had to hit the old link Ain't nothing really chain (change) Receded who was round me My patience wearin thin Monopolize my spot I don’t feel like this a game Started rockin 2 chains Realized we are not the same I am different For you, what is in it? What is your position? I get a lot of feeling But none of them authentic My prophecy Speaks to me In different lingo Make me push the limit Like a bad innuendo Started with a small buzz Reaching my crescendo Greeting new faces Like what’s good? yo, Who sent you? If I don’t fuck with you feel need to pretend to Feel like I’m the illest Point, blank, menstrual People switch They witnessing you Build up a status I am the missing link With me There’s no apparatus They all wanna trip When the price no longer gratis Hustled too hard To ever fall below average Strides made Then then shots Turn into daggers Posting accomplishments they got it confused With bragging I am not my demons I refused to be damaged Weathered a few storms My feet are still planted Rooted in my beliefs That darkness is obsolete Note to self Continue to be Despite what they see. Lyrics and beats on blast Only capture half The rest is really lived Wouldn’t understand If they asked They don’t know the half
5.
Show Off 03:10
I got my eye on the prize Like a goldfish At the carnival Building some wavy shit From the bottom Like some barnacle Making change Off these words What’s a headline To an article Young, intelligent With money I know that combo startle you Like damn This nigga Bout to put the youth deep How you stop communication With language You don’t speak It a trigger to racist haters That they ass can’t trigger me And a black bitch doin numbers Like some trigonometry I’m the shit You disagree trigga, please You hear my movement Like a frat boy In some flip flops In these streets I had a convo with my soul yeah I Went and made some peace You work on self And self-worth Changes shit Rooted deep This is When def jam poetry Meets Art scene city streets And a binary Not compared To what They Typically see This is me. Yeah I did it With some Shit I never had Used social me To my add vee to go and secure all the bags Every battle Ain’t your fight Soul eternal Keep it right Poppin Shit For a Minute Cause I Told em Get ya life Hustle been mean But the journey look nice Made a few nice moves And I did it wit a mic Thought I had a pipe dream Till I started getting nice Now I’m nicer than The spitters And these niggas Getting tight (hook) All I know is hustle Hustle I gotta grind Chasing every dream Manifesting what is mine Gotta go gotta get it (x6) Picture this You Pray and get All you ever want Even when working against sin It's been a minute since You got straight bars Like a fence Lined around your property I'm properly going in You do it like Piss poverty Im rich with the pen Put my pen on the line And been getting rich since Richer spirits Richer convo They fall in line Like dominios Im about that action Close the deal pronto Chillin out in Toronto My feet up Eating some mango Now they wanna beef I do it Big Burger Mondo Minding business In a condo With some thoughts Of Galiano Gagging How I’m bout to drop On they ass Geronimo Damn Pam I done started some shit I’m calling plays When I touch down You can call this A blitz and They been coming For my spot You can call that a miss And you looking for a title You can call me that bitch GPS where I am is Doing things I never did In some place I can’t pronounce But they bought me here for biz That is what I call a win Watch me Do that shit Again and again I’m out here livin Chasing dreams With my best friends (Hook) All I know is hustle Hustle I gotta grind Chasing every dream Manifesting what is mine Gotta go gotta get it (x6)
6.
Stuck in my head And I don’t wanna be there Anymore Look in the mirror Issa Rae, I feel So insecure Is this what I really want? Am I ready for the jump? Everybody hustling, Why do I think I’m the one? Fighting thoughts Like who told you You deserve this shit Money,power We only Want some turn up It’s For the culture Let’s make it a little darker Continue Planting seeds Promoting early departure Falling harder Every time we stumble Can’t understand No new shit Can’t decipher The mumbled Dialing numbers Praying that someone answer Cause the stress Of this mess Cause the psyche To Dismantle I go On and on Not sure what I’m searching for But when I make the wrong decision I’m sure I’ll regret it or Blame self so much I push my disdain for self higher Too bad life don’t come With demonstrations Or a trial So all my errors They haunt me till I forgive myself Trying to bury All the bullshit With some drugs Or wealth Note to self Don’t nobody Got it figured out Half of the journeys Making sense of What this life about this is my destiny Word to Kelly and Yonce I’m just tryna Shed my shell (Michelle) survivor of this hard game They can label all they want And leave the writings on the wall my destiny will be fulfilled Before I got and end it all. (Chorus) Will I find my love Will I find myself Time will only tell Will I ever feel good enough? (x2) Texts back and forth How many times we gonna Go about it I’m thru convincing you I’m worth your time I really doubt that The seven minutes in heaven Is worth the months of pain Trying to convince myself I’m worth some love again After you shatter All the confidence I’ve built This situation is rocky Tryna get over the hill. Healthy love Ain’t nothing I’ve seen on the regular So everyone’s an enemy Perceived as a predator I think I’m fearful Of what we really could be Never allowed My walls to come down And be seen for me So I just blame my past But it’s really my fault Contemplating If I’m deserving Of loving at all (Chorus) Will I find my love Will I find myself Time will only tell Will I ever feel good enough? (x2) They champion you over everybody else It’s been a minute I’ve felt I only have self So I resent all of you equal Feel like we stranger people Had to set my own tone Of what to go succeed too My small accomplishments Ain’t never noticed What do I have to do To feel like Happiness deserving No matter how bright I shine It gets dimmed by your issues And I think sometimes My tough exterior Gets misused Like I don’t need love I’m too strong for affection like they don’t give a fuck About anything that I mention So the distance become greater Taught myself not to hate it And Maybe the bad taste Will subside a little later. (Chorus) Will I find my love Will I find myself Time will only tell Will I ever feel good enough? (x2)
7.
Slow down and smell the roses. Camera roll full poses We never post And we living for these moments Creatin' A life worthy of a toast So raise a glass To the rough days They made us who we are We gon work till we make Real lives What we put Our dream eyes upon This for the ones who held me down time And time again I Used my loses As stepping stones Just to go and win I promise, I swear I would do it all again And every time I'll apologize for my sins But you gotta live A little crooked To get straight When you ain’t Born in ideal Sit u ate Shun, all of my bad habits swear I’m tryna break em I’ll do better once I make it Never had a blueprint So I’m fine With being My Einstein Color out the lines The picture Still perfect, I Refuse to let the masses Ever go and define My grind One thing you never Gettin back is time So every moment Even bad Gotta be worth it Validate every emotion So even when it’s hurting Use it as a inspo To go So hard ah If you ain’t get it Today There’s always tomorrow I forgive myself For all the times I missed Growing up When you was off On ya own raising ya kids Cause I believed This dreamed Was gon be worth it Even if it that mean somebody gon hurting I had to redefine What existence mean And learn to excel Within my means Never focus on the green Keep inspired by the team And on days That I’m down I know that God got me (Chorus) So when I’m falling I may call on you To pick me up When I come crawling Can I count on you To Dust me off My intentions are pure Will you see my heart, please Cause of you I am strong Thank you for loving me

about

Kotic Couture, the introspective and buoyant Baltimore-based rapper and songwriter, continues their journey of self-expression in their latest release, “Diary of a Dreamer,” out May 10th on Babe City Records.

Nurtured in the underground art movement and club scene of Baltimore, Kotic Couture (pronounced kāˈädik ko͞oˈto͝or) adopts a more classic hip-hop approach to their latest work, which draws from vogue and pop influences. They describe “Diary of a Dreamer” as an “authentic interpretation” of their diary, revealing significant scenes from their life and experiences in and out of the LGBTQ community. Co-produced with Baltimore-based Benjamin Banger, the always energetic performer shows a personal side to Baltimore, mixing beautifully-crafted stories with jazzy, classically-influenced beats.

“Diary of a Dreamer” marks Kotic Couture’s most upbeat—and profound—project to date.

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released May 10, 2019

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